My doctor's waiting room and consulting rooms are wonderfully entertaining. Just by looking around I can get an idea of some of the things that have happened since I was last there. It's pretty obvious he has a bit of an obsession with signs, and it seems that any one person behaving in a way he doesn't want a repeat of, will initiate a Sign to Warn Others.
For years we've had the usual "IF YOU DON'T TURN UP TO YOUR APPOINTMENT YOU WILL BE CHARGED" and "PLEASE TREAT THIS TOILET WITH RESPECT" (that one's in the toilet, not the waiting room, and saw me bowing three times before I used the loo). Then there was the addition of a whole series about the scales - these were two to each consulting room and I could only surmise that there'd been a bit of an outbreak of hyperactive children in need of a trampoline.... "NO ONE IS TO STAND ON THESE SCALES WITHOUT A NURSE PRESENT" and 'DO NOT TOUCH THESE SCALES UNLESS INSTRUCTED TO'. There are plenty of others, the walls are a bit of a boring patchwork of these white A4 laminated works.
Life in the waiting room got a bit boring until the "WE WILL NOT TOLERATE ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR, SPEECH OR GESTURES TO THE NURSE, THE RECEPTIONIST OR THE DOCTOR". Hmmm. Someone hadn't liked their diagnosis? More likely they got sick of the waiting time....
The "CHEWING GUM IS FORBIDDEN ON THESE PREMISES" spoke of efforts involved in scraping the stuff off the floor, and I could see their point. Likewise the 'DO NOT USE OUR RUBBISH BINS FOR NAPPIES'.
Today's one was a touch different, and replaced some of the others, so important it was.
"TOE AND FINGER NAILS ARE NOT TO BE CUT IN THE WAITING ROOM. THIS IS DISGUSTING BEHAVIOUR AND ANYONE CUTTING THEIR TOE OR FINGER NAILS WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE AND NEVER ALLOWED TO RETURN. OTHER PATIENTS AND OUR STAFF FIND THIS HABIT DISGUSTING."
So that must have been an interesting moment, but does it necessitate signs for the whole world, almost all of whom don't cut their nails in this doctor's waiting room? Could a simple word in the ear of the offender not have done the trick?
But on the other hand, then I would never had had that delicious moment of reading it and visualising the disgusting event!